Excited

It's snowing and even though it's not sticking, I'm excited because I love snow. And there's no soccer practice tonight and that is SOOOOO cool. I've been daydreaming about houses all day. Thinking about what I would do with a fixer-upper. We have found a house that is probably not something that we would be interested in. We haven't looked at it though. It's probably going to sell for about half what it's worth because of the economy and because it has not been taken care of. So it needs some TLC. And that might not be the kind of project that my husband is up for. I would love it though. So even though it probably won't happen for us, it's nice to dream about a house with 5 bedrooms and a full basement and tons of storage and room for each child to have their own room and a room for guests and a room for another child and a toy room and a den and blah blah blah. I can't imagine how much easier housework would be if we have more room to spread out things a bit. And am dreaming of my own room just for dressing and storing my jewelry, clothes and shoes. OK, now I'm really fantasizing. But it's kind of fun.

Sometimes dreaming is pretty fun, even when you know it probably won't come true. But then again, sometimes life has a funny way of surprising us...

Dreams Change Shape

Isn't it funny how our dreams change over the years. When I was very little I told someone that when I grew up I wanted to have boobs "as big as the world" so I could knock everyone down. Really.

Later I dreamed of being a farmer with a stay-at-home husband who would do all the housework.

And then I dreamed of qualifying for the Olympics in the 100m high hurdles.

And then I dreamed of becoming a large animal veterinarian.

Or a forsensic pathologist.

And of completing an internship in International Business in Mazatlan, Mexico.

I never dreamed I would be a mother. And yet it makes me happy. I never dreamed I would have this career, yet I enjoy my days. I never dreamed I would be raising a family and living in Cowley County and be married for the second time at age 32. Yet I am happy. And though there are so many of my dreams that never came true, I don't feel like a failure.

Dreams change shape.

Now I dream of finding more success in my career.

And of someday consulting rather than punching the clock like I do now.

And of retiring early.

And spending my days creating artful photographs that make me happy at a glance.

And making things with my own bare hands.

And watching my boys find their own happiness in this world.

And aging gracefully... with the man I love.

Poem

Dream Deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

Langston Hughes