This Close to Winning the Mother of the Year Award

Just when I thought I was a shoe-in this year for MOTY Award, I blew it again!

Sunday I decided the boys were getting a little shaggy so I drug out the clippers to give the boys a haircut. Wyatt loves having a fresh cut, but Cole Avery absolutely hates having his hair cut. It's always a fight from start to finish.

So I drug everything out to the garage because it just makes cleanup easier. It was already 100 degrees and I swear I was sweating buckets! So Wyatt's haircut was short and sweet and we were done in no time. I started Cole's cut and it was painfully obvious from the start that it was going to be one of those days with him. I always start at the base of their neck with a 1/16" guard and fade up to 1/4'' on the top. I keep Cole's especially short because the cuts are so unpleasant that I prefer to not have to do them often.

Well about 30 seconds into the cut, my sweet little angel was no longer acting human. I don't know if it was the heat or the fact that we had had this same fight I don't know...maybe 50 times before or maybe it was a combination of the two. Either way, I had had it.

So I said to heck with this fighting. I just buzzed his hair off all over with the 1/16" guard! Then when I got done I realized that it was so short that I swore the phone would ring any second and it would be Make a Wish! Then to make it worse he went in the house and cried and cried and cried. I wanted to get my point across to him but I had no idea that it would break his pea pickin little heart. So Andy had me shave his head too.

And that made it all better. Cole was happy as a clam.

Dad's hat doesn't fit for the time being.

We have to sunscreen Cole's head every morning.

And luckily in a about a week, it will have grown a ton.

And there's always next year to win MOTY.

Craziness

It's been a long time! Life has been more than hectic lately and with work, baseball, church and life in general it's just been nuts lately. On a normal evening I don't get home until about 8:30 at night because we have baseball practices at least 3 nights during the week that start at 5:00 and don't end until 8:00. Lately we've had obligations on the weekends too which doesn't really make keeping the house clean much of an option. We do what we can but it's been neglected to say the least. Friday and Saturday we had baseball tournaments which made housework wait until Sunday after church which left me feeling really bummed. I prefer to get a nap on Sunday afternoons rather than clean house but it had to be done. I get really down when my house is messy.

I need a part time job with full time pay!

And after the housecleaning Wyatt and I worked on his science project. We made a solar system out of sugar cookies decorated in frosting. It really turned out awesome but it was a lot of work. More cleanup really than actual work. Well, getting all the different colors we needed took a lot of time. It's amazing how many colors you need to make planets. I did find out some really cool info though. Wal-Mart has awesome cake stuff that is not in the baking isle. It's with the wedding stuff. They sell the kind of concentrated food colorings that you dip a toothpick into. The colors are awesome. I won't ever buy liquid color again. They also sell the cake cardboards. We bought large rectangular ones and spray painted it black and had an awesome sky for our planets.

All in all his project turned out awesome and he was so proud. What's more awesome is that we really had a good time listening to music and making cookies and frosting them. We danced in the kitchen and played air sax and had some really good moves. Andy just shook his head at us. I'm sure we looked pretty ridiculous but we had a blast. The funny think is that there were a lot of songs about the moon and stars all evening and we thought that those songs were in honor of our project.

I can't wait to hear how his day went. When I left him at school he was grinning ear to ear because the kids were all gathered around his desk looking at his project. The recipe was so big that we made sun cookies for all the kids in his class.

This weekend was a crash course of how things work in the world of baseball in Ark City and to say the least we were less than pleased. More on that load of crap later though. Today I'm just so proud of Wyatt I am almost teary!

"Cha cha cha..Charmin!"

Ever wonder what the difference between boys and girls is? Well I was reading a blog that another local Mom writes and it became very clear that there is in fact a huge difference between raising boys and girls. Two completely different worlds.

So Saturday morning after a disastrous Valentine's Day start (everything I tried to do to create a romantic wonderful day just exploded) my husband told me that his parents were stopping by Sunday morning to visit before they headed down to OKC to see his sister and the doctor the next day. One thing you should know about me is that when I have company coming over I always want my house to be perfectly clean and tidy. Every time. No matter how clean my house already is, I have to work to make it perfect if I know company is coming. And if it is a wreck, then I really have tons to do. So after a crazy week of work and my husband bringing two weeks of laundry home with him earlier that week, I felt like my house was a wreck.

So here I am rushing around on Valentine's Day trying to get my house in order for my in-laws even though they were not going to be there long. Luckily I was able to get it in order (with the help of my husband... yes I think that was my Valentine's Day surprise) pretty shortly.

Sunday morning we got up and ready for church and were home by 10:30. I knew his parents would be there shortly so I decided to make some lunch and then put the last little touches on the house, making sure everything was perfect and being sure to light a few candles so that the house would smell wonderful. I almost always have candles burning, but definitely do when company is coming over.

So it was nice to see his parents as we had not seen them since the first of the year. I know they really wanted to see their son, especially since he had been gone to Kentucky for the past few weeks. Everything was going well, or so it seemed when his Mom headed off to the bathroom. She returned almost immediately and announced that Cole was "doing paperwork". Well I had to go too. So I decided that I better "light a fire" under my youngest child.

So I knocked lightly and started to push open the door when he said, "Don't come in here!"

Well when a child says that in my house, it's my cue to be sure to walk in. I opened up the door to find the bathroom wet in what seemed like every inch. The floor was wet, he was wet, his coat that lay on the floor was wet and there were wet globs of toilet paper strewn around too. There he stood with his pants around his ankles with each hand full of wet, soggy, dripping toilet paper. I kept asking, " What in the world are you doing?"

He said, "I dropped the roll in the toilet!" So I had him throw the wet paper in the trash (still with his pants around his ankles) and began to scan the room for a towel. Of course the thought of using my nice, fluffy, new towels seemed really gross so I started out the door to grab one of the old towels I keep around just for this sort of thing when I notice that he's still standing there with his pants around his ankles.

I guess I found this really irritating because I said, "Dammit Cole, pull up your pants!"

Meanwhile, I get a towel and run into Andy. At that point Cole is no longer my son. He's Andy's Son. So I quietly tell him that his son has dropped the toilet paper roll in the toilet and there's water everywhere. "Oh Boy!" is all he can muster. That's my husband.

So I get all the water cleaned up and as I am walking back into the living room where Andy's visiting with his parents it occurs to me that something is not right. I can't shake the thought that there is something more to the story of what just happened than I am seeing. And what the heck is that horrible smell. And then it hit me!

Luckily I am blessed with an honest child, if you ask the right questions. And I had not asked the right questions...YET. The guys had gone outside and it was just me and Brenda (my MIL) left visiting when Cole started through the room.

"Cole, was the toilet paper on fire before it ended up in the toilet?" I asked. He immediately ran to hug me and I knew I had guessed correctly. He began crying and showed me his thumb where he had actually burnt his thumb pretty badly. It was obvious that he was in quite a bit of pain.

He had apparently been playing with the fire and lit the toilet paper when the paper took off. He was smart enough to throw the roll in the toilet to put out the fire, which made the mess that I found. It was such a scary close call, but funny at the same time. I keep imagining flaming rolls of toilet paper flying through the air. Luckily no one was hurt (seriously that is) and nothing caught fire.

I know that Cole learned an important lesson. And I thought back to all the times when I played with candles and fire when I was a kid. It was a scary lesson. I learned a few things.

1) I am smart enough to just about always know exactly what my kids have done.
2) Cole will always tell the truth if you ask the right question.
3) The toilet is the quickest way to extinguish a flaming roll of toilet paper.
4) A flaming roll of toilet paper makes a big splash.
5) Trying to make your house perfect for your in-laws is a waste of time when you have boys.

Magnifying Glass and Tweezers

I woke early this morning to the sound of a boy saying my name, which around my house is Mama. As I do most mornings, I momentarily contemplated saying, "She's not here!" But I learned some time ago that telling him that stopped working when he was around 18 months old! So after asking him what was wrong he proceeded to tell me he woke up with a swollen penis.

So my first instinct was so say, "No kidding? Well so did your Dad!"

But I refrained. You might notice that I wake up a little cranky and sarcastic in the mornings. Not my shining hour of the day. So back to the swollen penis. It's not a little woody, but rather a swollen little penis that looks like a full sized mushroom. The kind you buy in the store. If you don't have little boys, the first time you see something like this it's pretty freaky. But as a mother of two boys, this is not the first time I've seen this, but actually it's always been with Cole. Usually it happens after he gets a chigger bite and after a little bit of benadryl and hydrocortisone cream, he's fixed up in no time.

So like the good Mom I am, I told him that it would be fine and I'd take care of it in a little bit. (Just as soon as I fall back asleep and snooze for another 15 minutes) But that was not to happen because about two minutes later he was back, calling that lady's name again that was not there!

"Mom, it's a tick. A tiny tick. That's what made my penis swell!"

A tick in the winter? So I reluctantly turned on the light and tried to see this tiny tick. And I could barely see a speck. So I ran off to get a magnifying glass and tweezers. It was on my way back to get this "tick" out when I realized the irony of the situation. If I had told my husband that I would take a look at his penis just as soon as I found the magnifying glass and some tweezers, I would probably be single! LOL I mentioned that to my husband on the way back to do triage and he didn't see as much humor as I did.

Turns out the "tick" was actually a splinter. That of course raises a whole other set of questions that I would rather not address with my seven year old son. I think I'll just pretend that it was a tick!