Friday, February 27, 2009

Dreams Change Shape

Isn't it funny how our dreams change over the years. When I was very little I told someone that when I grew up I wanted to have boobs "as big as the world" so I could knock everyone down. Really.

Later I dreamed of being a farmer with a stay-at-home husband who would do all the housework.

And then I dreamed of qualifying for the Olympics in the 100m high hurdles.

And then I dreamed of becoming a large animal veterinarian.

Or a forsensic pathologist.

And of completing an internship in International Business in Mazatlan, Mexico.

I never dreamed I would be a mother. And yet it makes me happy. I never dreamed I would have this career, yet I enjoy my days. I never dreamed I would be raising a family and living in Cowley County and be married for the second time at age 32. Yet I am happy. And though there are so many of my dreams that never came true, I don't feel like a failure.

Dreams change shape.

Now I dream of finding more success in my career.

And of someday consulting rather than punching the clock like I do now.

And of retiring early.

And spending my days creating artful photographs that make me happy at a glance.

And making things with my own bare hands.

And watching my boys find their own happiness in this world.

And aging gracefully... with the man I love.


Dream Deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up

Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--

And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

Langston Hughes

I Can't Complain

So the work week is almost finished and I am looking forward to the weekend, the days that I seem to look forward to all week. I'm looking forward to not getting up early tommorow. I'm looking forward to not being "in charge" or anything tommorow and not being responsible for anything but my kids tommorow. And actually I have a little break from that too. My sister, Kerrie has invited the boys to stay the night and play with her two boys. So we have a night to ourselves to act like kids! And then in the morning I am going shopping with my Mom so I can spend some of my Birthday money and hopefully find some new work clothes for Spring. I don't get a lot of opportunity (or better said do not make time like I should) to do things that don't involve kids or hubby. So tommorow is about doing what I want. And I'm excited about that!

Today was payday. I used to always hate payday because that was the day that I paid bills. And after I paid all the bills that would come due in the next two weeks, when I looked at what was left over, it was just depressing. It was a relief to know that everything was paid on time and better to know exactly what I had to work with for the next two weeks, but at the same time it just sucked. (remember this is my blog and I can say sucks all I want!) So today my bills are all paid (way early!) for the next two weeks and I have money left over and that feels really good. It feels great to be able to just write out all the checks and not have to think about what I might not be able to pay this time. There were times about 5 years ago that there never seemed to be enough money to meet the basic bills, let alone to have nice things or even something little that I wanted. I think there is something about knowing that everything is in order and that there are no bill worries that just makes life good. We're not made of money by any means but I at least don't have to worry about paying bills.

This week has actually gone well at work. Some of the days have just flown by because they were kind of nuts, but it was one of those weeks that I really understand why I do what I do. And that I'm good at it. Sometimes I feel like I am kind of in a lull, like my good ideas are all used up. And then other times I come up with something new and really fresh and I feel like I deserve to have this job again. Tommorow is my 6 year work anniversary. Though there are days when this job has me ready to pull my hair out, I remind myself how grateful I am to have it. Managing people is hard as is dealing with the public. But it can also be really rewarding and I've developed special relationships with patients and staff over the years and they are important to me.

This job and the increase in pay that came with taking it enabled me to leave a bad marriage. It put food on the table and a roof over our heads after we left. Had I stayed at the hospital where I was working prior, I'm not sure that I would have been able to raise those boys on my own. I don't even know if I would have left by now. So I am grateful to the men who own this practice who gave me the opportunity to learn, share ideas, make changes and be successful and at the same time, gave me the means to change my children's lives for the better.

This is a good day.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Two Things I Love Today

Love St. Pauli Girl Lager. Haven't tried the Dark yet, but love, love, love the lager. Have to watch out though because it's pretty strong and will sneak up on you if you're not careful.
Pravanna sulfate free shampoo and conditioner is awesome. The lather in most shampoos is what makes color fade faster. This shampoo doesn't lather and is really sort of thin. But it does clean really well and leaves my hair very conditioned and very shiny afterward. When I first tried it I was afraid that I would have oily hair, but I don't have any trouble with that. This is really great stuff! I haven't done any lowlights on my hair since I've started using this, so the real test will be to see if my color lasts a ton longer using this, but so far I really love this stuff!

Goodbye Steak and Diet Dr. Pepper

I'm giving up red meat and soda for Lent. I tried to get my husband to give something up for lent too and he said, "I'm not Catholic!"

OK, well it's not like he wasn't raised in church, but apparently in his church or in his family (not sure which) people didn't give things up for Lent. I kind of like the idea though. Plus it will be good for me.

I suggested that he give up beer for Lent. I even suggested to make it easier, we could drink all the beer in the fridge last night so he wouldn't be tempted. Ok, so maybe that was not such a good idea. We both agreed that if we wanted to make it to work this morning, we should not drink all the beer in the fridge.

So I'm doing this Lent thing alone... well not really. There are billions of other people on earth that will go without for the next 40 days.

Small price to pay considering what He sacrificed for us.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

He Never Ceases to Amaze Me...

So my husband calls me at work today. To tell me he loves me and finds me irresistible. Actually he really he called because he wanted something. Sometimes I think about what he actually asked me to do and I just can't help but shake my head. Sometimes I think I am one of the guys. Oh and we have sex. So that makes me special

Two winters ago he was trapping bobcats and was having trouble finding suitable bait (usually rabbits) so he called me one day and suggested that if I ran across a dead rabbit on the side of the road that wasn't too awfully squished, would I please get it for him. Seriously! I remember asking him, "OK, so did you really just ask me to pick up roadkill for you? You are seriously asking your girlfriend to do that for you?"

I believe his response was something like, "Well don't you always keep an extra Wal-Mart sack in your glove box for emergencies and stuff? Can't you just put it in the sack and bring it out to the house?"

Needless to say I did not pick up any rabbits that winter.

Today he wanted me to skip the gym at noon and instead run out to the house and get a drive shaft for his 4WD truck and bring it into town because he was going to be out of pocket for the day. I drive a one year old Jeep. And I think drive shafts are kind of long. He said just to throw down something under it. So in a few I'm going to be wrestling with a drive shaft in dress clothes.

I told him if I got fatter today because I skipped my workout it was on his conscience.

I could tell he was very sympathetic. He's a really sensitive guy you know....

Monday, February 23, 2009


So I decided today that I am going to start making beaded jewelery. And I have no idea how to do that.

I am on a jewelry kick and have decided that I could surely make my own jewelry and save tons of money and have so many more pieces than I would otherwise have if I could just make my own. So I bought a bunch of different kinds of beads today that I found on clearance. And I bought some different kinds of stringing materials. I have a vintage necklace that I love that needs to be restrung so I think I'll start by re-stringing that and then start on some necklaces, bracelets or earrings.

I bought a little book that tells how to do some things and figure that I can research the rest online. There's an answer to everything online right?

I can already tell that this will be one of those projects that is going to posess me for a while. Why didn't I think of this last November? Would have been nice to have a fun project to keep me busy this winter!

Anyway, that's my latest little tangent. I'll let you know how it goes and post pictures later.

El Magooey

So we got home yesterday afternoon from my Birthday weekend away. I'm 32 now which is just a number. Granted I wish I was still 22, but I'm not stressing about it. Life is so much better at 32 than it was at 22. So I can't complain.

I took Friday off and hung with the boys and did a little shopping. I went to Ponca to find this pair of Pumas that I saw at Chapman's a few weeks ago and didn't buy because I was looking for running shoes that day. I should have bought them because they were gone Friday. So instead I hit Maurices, JcPenney, Claire's, Bath and Body and Hibbets. Then we stopped and got the boys haircuts at Barney's. I found a few things that I am excited about and that was fun.

After dropping the boys off with Grandma we headed south to OKC for the weekend. Got there around 7:30, checked into our triangle shaped room at the Marriott on the NW Expressway in OKC and then headed off to find somewhere to eat. Driving in the city with my husband is like National Lampoon's European Vacation. Every store or restaurant you pass, he reads the name out loud.

"Look, there's Red Lobster, Joe's Crabshack, Olive Garden, Buffalo Wild Wings..." it goes on and on.

Pretty soon the only thing I can think of is, "Look, there's Big Ben!"

So we settled on Macaroni Grill which was awesome. They are one of the few places that serves Peroni (Italian beer) and I really like it. So it was a good meal with a great beer. Then we tucked in for the night.

We got around early Saturday morning and headed off to the Stockyards where we did some shopping. That area of OKC has a lot of neat little shops and I enjoyed it. My hubby bought me a pair of jeans, shirt and a necklace. Then of all places, in some boot shop I found the prettiest sheer shawl. It's hard to describe but it's sheer like a curtain sheer and fades from green to blue. Very wispy and pretty and I am wearing an all black outfit of black flowy gauchos and a black top under it today. My husband thought it was the oddest thing when I bought it and just couldn't see the whole outfit in his mind like I could. But then again he'd probably think I was a dork if he saw me in it now. Kind of reminds me of the type of wispy things that Stevie Nicks wore back in the day.

Anyhoo... met up with Andy's sister Jena for lunch and then headed off to Sheplers and then on to Mathis Brother's Furniture to look at a recliner for me and to see if they had the matching pieces to our armoire. Then we ran to the mall because of all the things I forgot to pack panties. I forgot panties and a toothbrush! How do you forget those? I did.

Saturday evening we went to the Looney Bin and had a great time. We got up early yesterday and headed off to breakfast and Bass Pro. We stopped by the OKC National Memorial for a few minutes. We didn't really have the time to go inside the museum but to be honest, I don't think Andy would have wanted to do that had we had more time. It was very powerful and emotional. It's so visual to see the little chairs and know that those represent children. So sad and so unnecessary.

And then we headed home. We both missed the boys and it was so good to see them. Then we went to the Nature Center for an afternoon family walk. And because it was my Birthday, my husband couldn't say no. That was nice.

So today it's back to the grind. And after a night of little sleep, I'm tuckered out. But we are having dinner tonight with my family for my Birthday. El Maguey. My husband pronounces it El Ma-goo-ey. Can't help but smile.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

A Loss for Words...?

It's hard to imagine that I might be speechless, but I might be just that. Today's been a busy day trying to tie up so many loose ends so I can have a little getaway this weekend. On top of that my mind is swimming in all the details involved in trying to buy a house (interest rates, loans, escrow, FICO scores, credit worthiness, down payments, inspections blah blah blah blah). I'm one of those people that feels the need to know EVERYTHING that I possibly need to know so that I don't spend a penny more than I have to when I am taking out a loan.

And of course mortgages are so much more complicated than other loans. And so much more long term. So it's a little stressful.

And I need to go get my Jeep from the dealership because I had it serviced today. We have parent-teacher conferences at 4:20 and I have a hair appt. (need a tiny trim) at 5:00. And I have this awful feeling that I am forgetting something important. Bills are paid. Boys are at daycare (no school) so not sure what it is, but I am sure I will remember (once it's too late). But I am off tomorrow so I will have some time to get things packed for us and the boys and get the house tidied up. I hate coming home from a fun weekend only to have that feeling of guilt because your house is a mess. Oh and I need to go to the carwash.

I'm excited about hopefully having time to do some shopping this weekend while we are in the city. It's been quite a while since I treated myself to something nice.

Last night we stayed up later than normal (which is not saying much) and watched Jackass II. I know I know. We talked about that this morning... how people like us should not find a movie like that so flippin' hilarious. But we do. I can't remember laughing so hard in a long time. I think we both needed that. Sometimes it's nice to be reminded how normal we are. And sometimes it's nice to feel young even if it's because we find the same things funny that 17 year old boys do.

Anyway, this is my Friday. And I'm excited about the weekend. May it turn out better than the last!

Ok, so I guess I wasn't speechless after all.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

What Else Can I Tell You

1) I'm really stubborn most of the time.
2) I can't help crying when someone else cries in front of me.
3) I get teary sometimes when I help someone who really needs me at work.
4) My most common craving is cheese.
5) I can't whistle.
6) I love Hank Williams Jr. and have probably more than 20 of his CDs.
7) I collect crosses.
8) When Andy and I got married and I moved into his house, I got rid of more than 50 pairs of shoes. And still have more than that left.
9) I love to build things and fix things. I would rather re-finish an old piece of furniture than buy a new piece.
10) I can almost always answer my husband's questions before he finishes his sentence, sometimes after one word.
11) If I won the lottery I would quit my job and spend my days creating photographic art. I would spend my time exploring and capturing landscapes and daily rural life in print.
12) I hate meeting new people. Just hate it. I'm shy though.
13) My husband loves meeting new people.
14) If I could stand other people's kids long enough, I would be a teacher so I could have the summers off and still get paid and then I would spend my summers at the lake with my kids.
15) I love to grow things in the dirt and usually have a very large garden.
16) I hate listening to people snap gum, chomp ice or crunch chips.
17) I am a sucker for animals. From cattle to kittens I just adore them.
18) I once wanted desperately to be a forensic scientist and still just am so fascinated with that field.
19) I love documentaries.
20) Some say I make the best chocolate cream pie ever.
21) I hate folding laundry.
22) Hate doing dishes.
23) Love vaccuuming and mopping.
24) I have recently re-discovered my love of St. Pauli Girl.
25) If I could live so far out that my nearest neighbor was a mile away, I would be thrilled. And would sunbathe naked if I wanted to. But I try to avoid sun on my face so I probably wouldn't. But it would be nice to be able to.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Three Things I Love Today (Tuesday)

First of all if it weren't for coffee in the mornings, I would not be fit to have contact with any life forms before noon. That said, I bought some Maxwell House Breakfast blend a few weeks ago and it is really good. You wouldn't know that it's not fresh ground fancy something or other that costs way more than coffee should and it's cheap. I would pick the flavor over Starbucks anyday and I really like some of the Starbucks blends.

Mary Kay oil free eye makeup remover is awesome. How many times do you use cold cream or baby oil or something to take off eye makeup and then your eyes are so oily that you can't wash your face and put on makeup again because your eyes are so oily? Well this stuff works great and you can immediately put makeup back on. Perfect for those days when you forget to wash your face before bed and need to get up and slap on some makeup before work! Works great on waterproof mascara.

Lastly I love Chi silk infusion. It's a little pricey, but it just takes a little bit and the bottle lasts forever. I use about a dime sized amount on my hair after towel drying after washing my hair (don't forget my hair is about down to my waist). It makes a great leave-in conditioner to help prevent split ends. Then I use anti-snap along with the Chi. Then when I flat iron, I use just a little more and rub between my hands and smooth on hair, mostly on the ends. Combine that with just a little flat iron spray to help the iron slip over the hair and you have a perfectly sleek hairdo. I use it everyday though as a leave-in whether I'm doing hot rollers, straight or naturally curly. Good stuff and smells GREAT!

Monday, February 16, 2009

Sunflower Silhouette

One of my most popular photos on Flickr.
I took this at sunrise on Labor Day 2007.

"Cha cha cha..Charmin!"

Ever wonder what the difference between boys and girls is? Well I was reading a blog that another local Mom writes and it became very clear that there is in fact a huge difference between raising boys and girls. Two completely different worlds.

So Saturday morning after a disastrous Valentine's Day start (everything I tried to do to create a romantic wonderful day just exploded) my husband told me that his parents were stopping by Sunday morning to visit before they headed down to OKC to see his sister and the doctor the next day. One thing you should know about me is that when I have company coming over I always want my house to be perfectly clean and tidy. Every time. No matter how clean my house already is, I have to work to make it perfect if I know company is coming. And if it is a wreck, then I really have tons to do. So after a crazy week of work and my husband bringing two weeks of laundry home with him earlier that week, I felt like my house was a wreck.

So here I am rushing around on Valentine's Day trying to get my house in order for my in-laws even though they were not going to be there long. Luckily I was able to get it in order (with the help of my husband... yes I think that was my Valentine's Day surprise) pretty shortly.

Sunday morning we got up and ready for church and were home by 10:30. I knew his parents would be there shortly so I decided to make some lunch and then put the last little touches on the house, making sure everything was perfect and being sure to light a few candles so that the house would smell wonderful. I almost always have candles burning, but definitely do when company is coming over.

So it was nice to see his parents as we had not seen them since the first of the year. I know they really wanted to see their son, especially since he had been gone to Kentucky for the past few weeks. Everything was going well, or so it seemed when his Mom headed off to the bathroom. She returned almost immediately and announced that Cole was "doing paperwork". Well I had to go too. So I decided that I better "light a fire" under my youngest child.

So I knocked lightly and started to push open the door when he said, "Don't come in here!"

Well when a child says that in my house, it's my cue to be sure to walk in. I opened up the door to find the bathroom wet in what seemed like every inch. The floor was wet, he was wet, his coat that lay on the floor was wet and there were wet globs of toilet paper strewn around too. There he stood with his pants around his ankles with each hand full of wet, soggy, dripping toilet paper. I kept asking, " What in the world are you doing?"

He said, "I dropped the roll in the toilet!" So I had him throw the wet paper in the trash (still with his pants around his ankles) and began to scan the room for a towel. Of course the thought of using my nice, fluffy, new towels seemed really gross so I started out the door to grab one of the old towels I keep around just for this sort of thing when I notice that he's still standing there with his pants around his ankles.

I guess I found this really irritating because I said, "Dammit Cole, pull up your pants!"

Meanwhile, I get a towel and run into Andy. At that point Cole is no longer my son. He's Andy's Son. So I quietly tell him that his son has dropped the toilet paper roll in the toilet and there's water everywhere. "Oh Boy!" is all he can muster. That's my husband.

So I get all the water cleaned up and as I am walking back into the living room where Andy's visiting with his parents it occurs to me that something is not right. I can't shake the thought that there is something more to the story of what just happened than I am seeing. And what the heck is that horrible smell. And then it hit me!

Luckily I am blessed with an honest child, if you ask the right questions. And I had not asked the right questions...YET. The guys had gone outside and it was just me and Brenda (my MIL) left visiting when Cole started through the room.

"Cole, was the toilet paper on fire before it ended up in the toilet?" I asked. He immediately ran to hug me and I knew I had guessed correctly. He began crying and showed me his thumb where he had actually burnt his thumb pretty badly. It was obvious that he was in quite a bit of pain.

He had apparently been playing with the fire and lit the toilet paper when the paper took off. He was smart enough to throw the roll in the toilet to put out the fire, which made the mess that I found. It was such a scary close call, but funny at the same time. I keep imagining flaming rolls of toilet paper flying through the air. Luckily no one was hurt (seriously that is) and nothing caught fire.

I know that Cole learned an important lesson. And I thought back to all the times when I played with candles and fire when I was a kid. It was a scary lesson. I learned a few things.

1) I am smart enough to just about always know exactly what my kids have done.
2) Cole will always tell the truth if you ask the right question.
3) The toilet is the quickest way to extinguish a flaming roll of toilet paper.
4) A flaming roll of toilet paper makes a big splash.
5) Trying to make your house perfect for your in-laws is a waste of time when you have boys.

Public Service Announcement

I must interrupt this blog for an important public service announcement.

Apparently there has been some confusion as to the intent and purpose of this blog.

This blog is not meant for the eyes of children or men. Period. Of any age or sexual orientation. If you can't legally drink beer or if you have a penis, you should never ever attempt to read this blog. You wouldn't understand it.

If you are a woman who has been tempted to or has shown this blog to her husband, you should know that you have aided in espionage. Your husband has used you as a pawn. You are now considered a traitor and cannot be trusted to be involved in top secret matters. You have broken the code.

Do men tell us what they talk about with their buddies? Does your husband tell you about the women that he and his buddies talk about when you are not around? Do they tell you what they talk about when they talk about their marriages and their sex and their jobs etc? Men have a code. They don't break the code of silence. They have secrets from us and that's good. If we knew what they thought all the time or what they talked about with the guys, we would be hurt.

We have a code too. When you talk about personal things with the girls, keep it with the girls. The same goes for this blog.

This blog is for women. Written by a woman, read by women about stuff that interests women. I will vent somedays. Some days I will make no sense, other days I will make perfect sense. Some days I am serious. Other days I am not. I can't control who reads this. I've invited only women friends to read this.

I work with men, live with three men and this is truly the one part of my life that is just for me. A way to catch up with women.

I can't keep men from reading this all together though it's unlikely that most would want to. If I invited you to read this, I'm glad you are. But if I wanted your husbands to read this, I would have invited them to read this. If I wanted my husband to read this, I would have posted pictures of naked women with huge boobs holding semi-automatic rifles.

If you can't uphold the code, delete this link from your computer. If the things I write about upset you, don't read my blog. This blog is not about being right, hurting anyone's feelings, or being politically correct.

If you can't relate, don't waste your time reading. But don't judge me because I talk about personal things.

People who blog about how wonderful their life, kids, job, husband and dog are EVERYDAY are lying. They are bloggin bullshit. That's not real. No one is happy everyday. No marriage is good everyday. Some days being married sucks. Some days being a mother sucks. (I can say sucks all I want on here because it's my blob...SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS) Some days marriage and parenthood are cooler than I ever thought they could be. This blog is real. It's personal. And it's mine. This blog is never going to read like those cheesey letters that people write at Christmas about how perfect their family is and how wonderful their year has been. Those are usually pretty much a crock of shit.

This blog is not about bullshitting anyone. It's about life.

And if you hang in there long enough to read another blog of mine, congratulations! That means that you are not logged in to read aboud a fairy tale. You are logged on because you care about what I have to say and you are able to read my writing with a sense of humor and are able to take it with a grain of salt.

And if I scared you off, then you weren't ready to read this blog anyway. If you're still here, then you understand.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Coconut Cake

Coconut Cake

1 box yellow cake mix
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1 can coconut milk
2 T. coconut extract

1 bag coconut
8 ounces whipped topping

Prepare cake mix, pour into 9 x 13 greased pan and bake according to directions on box. Allow cake to cool. Punch holes in cake with a fork. Mix sweetened condensed milk, coconut extract and coconut milk until smooth. Fold in coconut, Pour over cake. Serve with cool whip on top. Keep covered in refrigerator.

A Mother's Prayer

I can't help but be overcome with sadness this morning. The jury in the Jodi Sanderholm murder case just found Justin Thurber guilty of Capital Murder, Kidnapping and Criminal Sodomy. For those of you who are not familiar with the case you may read about this on or

My heart aches for the Sanderholm family today especially, but also to Thurber's mother. I cannot imagine the heartache those families are feeling today and have felt for the past two years while they waited for this day to happen.

No punishment that a human could concoct would serve as justice for the unspeakable acts committed against this woman. No torture would ease the pain and torment that Jodi's family is experiencing. This was truly a mother's worst nightmare come true.

How many nights have I woken in tears after dreaming that someone had hurt one of my children. I've often wondered how I would go on were I to have to bear that burden. I pray that I never have to try. The Sanderholms seem to be a family who has drawn on their strong faith to see them through these times. What a test of faith.

I can't imagine having raised a child who grew up only to violently murder another mother's child. I would think that a mother would spend the rest of her days wondering if there was anything she did wrong, or anything she could have done differently that would have prevented such a tragedy. Lord knows that we all question our parenting decisions on a daily basis as is, let alone in a situation like this.

I am happy for Jodi to know that her murderer was found guilty. I pray that the Justice system serves Jodi and her family well in the sentencing phase and beyond. I pray that they find some closure once this trial and sentencing comes to a close.

May the Lord bless and keep our children safe from harm. May the Lord guide our children's hands to do good deeds and refrain from causing harm to others.

Magnifying Glass and Tweezers

I woke early this morning to the sound of a boy saying my name, which around my house is Mama. As I do most mornings, I momentarily contemplated saying, "She's not here!" But I learned some time ago that telling him that stopped working when he was around 18 months old! So after asking him what was wrong he proceeded to tell me he woke up with a swollen penis.

So my first instinct was so say, "No kidding? Well so did your Dad!"

But I refrained. You might notice that I wake up a little cranky and sarcastic in the mornings. Not my shining hour of the day. So back to the swollen penis. It's not a little woody, but rather a swollen little penis that looks like a full sized mushroom. The kind you buy in the store. If you don't have little boys, the first time you see something like this it's pretty freaky. But as a mother of two boys, this is not the first time I've seen this, but actually it's always been with Cole. Usually it happens after he gets a chigger bite and after a little bit of benadryl and hydrocortisone cream, he's fixed up in no time.

So like the good Mom I am, I told him that it would be fine and I'd take care of it in a little bit. (Just as soon as I fall back asleep and snooze for another 15 minutes) But that was not to happen because about two minutes later he was back, calling that lady's name again that was not there!

"Mom, it's a tick. A tiny tick. That's what made my penis swell!"

A tick in the winter? So I reluctantly turned on the light and tried to see this tiny tick. And I could barely see a speck. So I ran off to get a magnifying glass and tweezers. It was on my way back to get this "tick" out when I realized the irony of the situation. If I had told my husband that I would take a look at his penis just as soon as I found the magnifying glass and some tweezers, I would probably be single! LOL I mentioned that to my husband on the way back to do triage and he didn't see as much humor as I did.

Turns out the "tick" was actually a splinter. That of course raises a whole other set of questions that I would rather not address with my seven year old son. I think I'll just pretend that it was a tick!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Adjusting Again...

So last week I was trying to adjust to running a household by myself again while Andy was gone to Kentucky to help restore power to those who lost power after the ice storm. Andy got home safely last night (Thank God)! It was so wonderful to see him again though I must admit he looked the worse for wear. Such a tired guy after sleeping in his truck all that time and working 18 hour days. That said it was so nice to have an adult in the house, let alone my husband. It was somewhat odd though. I guess I had become so accustomed to having him gone that now I am adjusting to having him are the kids. And I know he's adjusting to having us around.

The fun part is that we seem to be re-discovering eachother and how much we really enjoy eachother. For instance he must have smelled me a dozen times last night, each time telling me how good I smell. I guess now I know that I smell better than the 500 lineman he worked with for the last two weeks! Good to know.

So for now it feels like dating again and that's so fun. I guess that's the great part about storms. I know that the few times a year that he has to leave for a couple weeks, when he returns we will have a short little honeymoon again. That sure makes storms nice for me! That and the money is pretty hard to pass up!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Three Things I Can't Live Without ...Today

I was cleaning up today and thinking about a few things around the house that I have found by accident that I just can't live without around this house.

Gold Canyon Candles, Cozy Cabin is the most homey scent. To me it just smells like comfort. When I bought it I thought that it would smell like pine, but it's surprisingly different. It's kind of a combination of perfume, sandalwood, maybe a hint of pine and not sure what else but smells great. I burn mine daily and what I love the most about it is that it is so different from what you usually find in candle scents.

We have a kitchen full of stainless and black porcelain and I have found that though it looks trendy and modern, it is all a pain to keep looking clean. Both get fingerprints easily, especially the stainless. I have spent countless wasted dollars trying to find something that will clean the fingerprints quickly and easily from the appliances. This weekend I bought some Bar Keeper's Friend to polish the copper on the bottom of my stainless copper core pans. I discovered on the label that it works on porcelain, stainless and all kinds of surfaces. I tried it on my stove first which has both of course and it works great! Pretty awesome to have finally found something that works great! Trick is that you just use a tiny bit and then wipe residue with a clean wet sponge and then buff dry with a clean, dry towel. Kind of like waxing a car. Leaves a perfect shiny finish.

Lastly, Fabuloso in lavender scent is the best all purpose cleaner that I have found. Not only is it really cheap, but it smells wonderful. I dilute it slightly and keep it in a spray bottle under the sink for cleaning countertops and it makes the whole house smell great. I use it on my cabinets, kitchen table, porcelain cook top, appliances and for a cleaner in my mop water. It cleans as well as 409 or Cloroz cleanup really and isn't so harsh. It's of course not good for bleaching things, but otherwise is great. Betcha if you give it a try you'll be hooked too.

"Oh not much, just got naked in a shed in some lady's backyard.."

I think the next time that someone asks me what I did this weekend, I might just want to say, "Not much, how about you?"

I had boudoir photos taken this weekend and let me first say that I had fun, but will immediately follow by saying that at 31 with two children, taking semi nude photos and actually looking at them is a pretty humbling experience.

Luckily my husband, who is still in Kentucky was gone for the weekend. But as I was on my way to my appointment he called and wanted to know what I was doing. I could have just made something up, but I am just not good with that kind of thing so stupidly I told him that it was a surprise and I couldn't tell him. He asked where the boys were and when he found out that they were at Grandpa's, that made it even worse. So here's this guy who's been in Kentucky for two weeks and his wife has gotten rid of the kids for the day and is doing something mysterious. And to make it worse, I had to tell him that I really needed to go because I was late for my appointment. So then he makes me feel guilty because he finally got signal and really wanted to talk to me and I don't have time to talk to him because I am doing something secret! He just kept saying, "I don't like this at all. I don't like this one little bit!"

The studio was set up in the photographer's back yard in what probably used to be a shed but has been finished into a studio. So it's not really like getting naked in a tool shed or anything, but it was a funny thing to think about. Some of the pictures were taken on a mattress that was draped in gauzy fabric and had a similar backdrop. That said, as I stood on this mattress in heels, teetering around trying not to fall flat on my face, the radio advertisement mentioned "love beads in all shapes and sizes" (at least that's what it sounded like) it dawned on me that I had secretly gone off to strip down nearly naked in front of a stranger in a back yard shed! You just can't help but laugh at the irony of the situation.

Anyway, I have seen the proofs online and though there are some that I absolutely cringe at, there are several that I really like and a couple that I think I look pretty darned good in for 31 with two sons. Hopefully between the fact that my hubby has been gone and the fact that I will be presenting him with racy pictures of me, I will have a very hot Valentines Day!

Cross your fingers for me!

Friday, February 6, 2009

Cabela's Fishing Guide in Training

Born on New Years Day 2000, my oldest son Wyatt is probably one of the most sensitive, kind hearted boys I will ever meet. Dark brown hair and icy blue eyes with inch long lashes, he's strikingly handsome and the kind of boy that other kids just like because he's kind.

Wyatt eats, sleeps, and breaths fishing. He is the only child that I've ever known who will chop ice on a Kansas pond to try to catch fish in the middle of winter. He's never deterred by those who tell him that he won't catch fish on a day like that. He goes anyway because he loves to fish, even if he doesn't catch a thing. In the summer on the weekends, it's not uncommon for him to wake me up at daybreak to tell me that he's walking down to the pond to fish while the rest of us are still sleeping. His little brother is not even watching cartoons yet and he's on his way to stalk the elusive big bass.

I often think about how sad it is that my Grandpa Gray died before Wyatt was born. My Grandpa Gray was a fisherman too and in the summer would fish everyday. Whether he was catching catfish on the river or bass on a farm pond, he was fishing. I know without a doubt that Wyatt would have been his best fishing buddy. More than likely we would have hardly seen the two of them all summer. He would have learned a few words and expressions that a mother just doesn't want her child to learn as a boy, but he would have learned priceless lessons and made indelible memories to last the test of time. I know that Grandpa knows Wyatt though. There's more than a little Grandpa Gray in him.

Wyatt started shooting trap when he was eight and the first time we threw him targets shot 60% of his targets shooting 20 gauge with a full length stock. He wants to be like his Dad and shoot trap competitively.

After I divorced my first husband and became a single Mom, his biological father stopped seeing him or calling when he was 4 years old. He was heartbroken and truly felt a void in his heart left by a man who just walked away from two perfect sons. So many times we prayed for God to send us someone who would love us and make our lives whole. God sent us Andy and he is now Dad. They picked eachother and that is the most special of bonds that a father and son can have. How special for a child to know that out of all the kids in the world, his Dad chose him. That's something even I can't give him.

Wyatt says that when he grows up he's going to be a Cabela's Hunting and Fishing Guide. I guess they actually have those. He would know. That's my Wyatt.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Green Cupcakes with Candy Sprinkles

I wonder if there is any scientist that ever calculated the calories that all Moms consume when making Birthday cupcakes... it must be quite a few. I think it's impossible to pour batter into muffin papers and not keep getting batter on your fingers. And then who can resist licking off that batter and sampling the frosting! Thank goodness we have only two boys and two Birthdays a year.

My "Baby" is turning 7 tomorrow and I can't help but think back to the day he was born. I started early labor while we were at a Super Bowl party at my Sister's house. I didn't know I was in labor at the time but shortly after we got home, my water broke and off to the hospital we went. And after two short hours filled with a frantic drive to the next town where our doctor would deliver me, crabby nurses, horrific pain that I never imagined (not even after my first delivery) I held the most precious baby I've ever seen in my life. He was fat and mad and beet red, complaining about the timing of his arrival into this world. And every since he's taken the world by surprise with his quick intellect, his funny little observations and his canny gift of pointing out such simplistic solutions to everyday problems that no one seems to see but him. He is wise beyond his years and I hope that gift serves him well.

I remember a time when being a parent was just something that other women did. Not something that I would ever do. And there have been times in my life that parenting was very hard. Being a divorced mother of two boys ages 2 and 4 was the scariest thing that I've ever attempted and certainly the most satisfying. As I watch my two children grow into their own personalities, I can't imagine life without them.

I'll write later about my oldest son, but for now I have cupcakes cooling on the counter, waiting to be slathered in creamy, gooey, green goodness...and some candy sprinkles.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Lucchese 2000 Black Buffalo Boot

I bought the brown version of this boot three years ago and I just love them. Lately I've been thinking about these in black and am really close to just ordering them. Love the toe. Love the heel and the tops. Just really well made boots. These are def my latest shoe drool.